Tuesday, June 5, 2007

I AM ONE YEAR OLD TODAY -LET ME HAVE A FUTURE


HI

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY. I AM ONE YEAR OLD TODAY. ALL THIS TALK OF GLOBAL WARMING SCARES ME. PLEASE SAVE THE PLANET FOR ME. ALSO MY PARENTS ARE FROM TWO DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS WHICH DO NOT SEEM TO GET ALONG ALL THAT WELL. LET ME PLEASE GROW UP HERE WITHOUT PROBLEMS ,
LET ME HAVE A FUTURE. THANKS
(PICTURE OF MY GRAND NEPHEW ARMAN)

Sunday, June 3, 2007

SOME REFURBISHED FOLK TALES

(S0me of these tales are well known. I am just trying to tell it in a different way)

(1) The Rabbi's Dream


(When I left America after a stay of more than a decade , my friends there asked me why am I going away . And when I returned to India, my friends here asked me why am I coming back . I could not give answers then . I cannot answer it even now except to retell this famous Hassidic tale which has been told many times( including in a recent popular novel)


There was a rabbi (Jewish priest) in the city of Cracow in Poland. He was not old. Neither was he young. And he did his preaching in a small church in the ghettos of Cracow. He did not have much money. It did not bother him except that his grandfather had wanted him to build a synagogue in his village. And building synagogues, even small ones in small villages, meant some amount of money. And our rabbi did not have this money. We have not told you his name yet . It was Issec and he was son of Jakel. So this was Rabbi Issec son of Jakel ( It is not important at the moment to know who was the father of Jakel. Let us pass and if it does merit some attention later we will certainly attend to it) .

And then the dreams started. Night after night. The same dream with some small change in detail . Or may be it was the same dream, May be our rabbi remembered it in different ways. On the first night , he, Issec son of Jakel, woke up with a sweat. What is my sin ? Why did the Lord of Abraham and Moses send me this dream ? This evil dream of greediness ! The Rabbi spent more time praying in the synagogue on that day. And then he went to bed. But again the same dream. He again woke up with a sweat.

What was this dream which really bothered our Issec son of Jakel ? On the first night in the dream he heard a voice . He really did not recognize the voice. It was not his father’s voice . Not even his grandfather’s voice. But it was a stern voice. It was the type of voice kings would use. Or the type of voice God would use. Yes, this was what worried the rabbi. And what did the voice say? The voice ordered him to go the Bohemian city of Prague. Well, the rabbi had never left Cracow. He did not know where exactly was Prague, Only things he had heard of Prague were naughty things. Yes, wicked things! Those Bohemians and their lives of debauchery . And God wanted him to go there ?

Alright. He might not have minded if this is all what God had asked him to do. Now he was not even sure it was the God. May be it was the Devil. Devil also would have a commanding voice. And devil would certainly send people to places of debauchery . God would never put such greed in people’s minds. Yeah, the rabbi convinced himself it was the devil .At least that is what he thought on the first night. The God/Devil asked him to go to Prague and then go to the bridge next to the big castle. Even this was alright with the rabbi. But then it was the serpent in Eve’s ear: Go and get the huge treasure buried next to the bridge ! As we know rabbi Issec did need money for the synagogue in his grandfather’s village. But he did not want treasures. All that was needed was may be 10 coins , may be even 100 coins. That is all . The rabbi did not like this talk about treasures. God of Abraham and Moses would not tempt him like this.

But we have seen that he had the same dream again. Of course, this was little different. This time it was not just a voice. It was a dark figure at a distance. The rabbi could not see the face. Could it be the God ? Would he say ‘ Dear Rabbi, Let me introduce myself. I am God and I have come to give you glad tidings ‘? Our rabbi, even in the dream , did not have the courage to ask this figure whether he was the God or the Devil . Well, the message was the same. Go to Prague, Go to the bridge, Get the treasure ! Dreams came night after night. Sometime it was just a voice, sometime it was a dark figure. Once our rabbi braced himself and mumbled that he did not want that much money. The voice did not bother to answer him back .

Rabbi Issec, son of Jakel, did not have any choice. Either get the same dream every night (of course, with small differences) or go to Prague! He was not getting enough sleep. He would forget his sermons sometimes. This just had to stop. He finally decided to go to Prague. He had not told anybody about the dream. Not even his dear neighbour Benji. But he wanted somebody to keep an eye on his house during his absence. Not that there was anything precious in that old house. A very old copy of the Talmud and some other books. Rabbi Issec decided to tell neighbor Benji that he would be going to Prague for few days. Benji wanted to know the reason for this trip but Issec did not tell him. Benji assumed that since Issec wanted to experience the sins of the big city before he got old. Issec was too preoccupied and let Benji assume whatever he wanted to assume.

The journey from Cracow to Prague did take a few days and Rabbi Issec arrived in Prague. He really did not want to spend much time in Prague. He was weary of temptations. He just wanted to go to the bridge , dig and get the treasure. He asked here and there and finally reached the famous castle. And indeed there was a bridge near the castle. It was all there as the voice said. But now there was a problem. A sentry was standing near the bridge. The rabbi assumed that he was guarding the bridge. Though he did not know whey the bridge had to be guarded. May be some people wanted to blow up the bridge. He thought this is what to be expected with the anarchists in this bohemian land . Whatever the reason was here was the bridge as the God/Devil said but there was also the sentry as the God/Devil had not said. The rabbi did not know what to do. He took a walk for an hour and came back. The river was there, the bridge was there but the sentry also was there. The rabbi went for another walk and this time it took him 2 hours. The sentry was still there. He was not the same sentry, but all the same he was a sentry. There was no way our rabbi could dig for anything with that sentry around.

Our rabbi, Issec, son of Jakel, spent two days in Prague . Out of those 2 days, he spent almost all his time near the bridge. Either looking at the bridge or taking walks for the sentry to disappear. But some sentry or other was always there. And our rabbi also was being watched. When the rabbi came back after another of his walks, he saw another soldier on the bridge. He did not look like a mere soldier. He was bigger, wore better clothes .And the rabbi could even seen many medals on his chest. And before the rabbi could decide as to who this obviously superior office was, he heard being summoned to this august personality’s presence. The rabbi was afraid. May be the august personality would put him in prison. As the rabbi went nearer, he found that there was no reason to be afraid. He was welcomed with a smile. And the man behind the smile said ‘ I am the captain of these guards and they are telling me that you have been coming here for the past two days and just looking at the bridge and going back. Do you want anything rabbi ?’ . The rabbi felt at ease but he did not want to tell his reasons to the captain , But the captain insisted and finally even threatened the rabbi that he would put him in prison. Well, the rabbi finally had to tell the captain about his dreams.

The captain started to laugh and seeing it the sentry also started laughing. Seeing both of them laugh, the bystanders also started laughing. Finally, our rabbi, Issec son of Jakel, also started laughing. When the laughter of the captain subsided ,he told the rabbi “ Look ! You are really foolish ! You have spent so much money to come from Cracow to Prague ! And all this because of a dream ! A voice told you that there is treasure below a bridge in Prague and you come running all the way from Cracow ! You walked for five days for this ! ‘ . The captain again started laughing and of course the sentry also had to laugh and the rabbi also had to laugh. The captain again opened his mouth with a guffaw and said to the rabbi” Look ! I also get a dream often ! But I am not a fool to listen to that dream ! Do you know what the voice in my dream says ? It says go to Cracow. Get hold of a rabbi called Issec son of Jakel . This in a town where half the people are called Issec and the other half are called Jakel ! And after locating this rabbi, I am supposed to find his house and dig in his

backyard ! Yes, the voice tells me that there is a big treasure in the backyard of that rabbi’s house ! Come on ! Do you think I am stupid to listen to that voice in the dream. I am telling you to go back to Cracow and stick to your sermons !” He again started laughing : Treasure in the rabbi’s backyard !

Issec, son of Jakel, rushed back to Cracow. And he began to dig in his backyard. He indeed found the treasure. He took 100 coins from it and built the synagogue in his grandfather’s village. He spent the rest of the money wisely on various projects for the poor. And when he died a ripe old man, the whole town of Cracow mourned Rabbi Issec !

( I had found a simple version of this tale long time ago in Zimmerman’s book on Indian mythology. )
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(2) BHARATI AND HER TWO HUSBANDS (MODERN VIKRAM BETAL)




There were two brothers Balaram ( also called Handyman, Plowman etc) and Krishna (also known as Lotusputra ). Balram was the elder one and he was fair. Krishna , the younger one was dark as the name implied. Their neighbour was a little girl called Bharati. Prodigals are supposed to leave home at early ages. And younger ones become prodigals. Therefore Krishna went away from home when he was very young. People say he went away to a distant island in the eastern sea. And the family was not to hear about him for quite some time. At home Balaram grew up to be a nice young lad. One day in the night he heard cries of a woman. Balaram went out and saw it was a young girl. Yes it was Bharati and a big white man was carrying her away. Balaram started chasing them . The chase took quite some time. Some say it took years. And some say it took days. And some say it took hours. Whatever it is the big white man got tired of carrying his burden and left the young girl. The girl was grateful and thanked Balaram . They also became close and eventually they got married.

They lived happily together for some time. Balaram, the Plowman was a magician with words. And he could spin many yarns. He told tell her all types of stories. And histories. He went on making Plans for their lives. When Bharati reminded that they are living in a warm country and these plans were really for cold countries, Balaram rebuked her. He fancifully called them the Five Year Plans. But neither story nor history can fill hungry stomachs. And as for stomachs there were many since the Plowman did not forget to plow and the woman inspite of improper irrigation was quite fertile. However, his plowing was limited to his wife and his fields remained fallow. Thus Balaram, the plowman lived with his wife along with hungry stomachs and five year plans.



The younger brother Krishna, also called the Lotusputra, who had gone away to a distant island came back. Bharati could not take her eyes away from Krishna . What shining darkness ! She looked at her husband, True, Balaram had a fine head. And it was pale . Her husband could also spin many yarns. That was all he could do . She looked at Krishna . He was everything Balram was not. Balram was poor but Krishna was rich. And he showed he was rich. He wore all sorts of ornaments. And his fingers had rings. In fact all his fingers had rings. And some fingers more than one ring. Slowly Krishna became very friendly with Bharati. She told him that the Plowman was not able to give her the things she wanted . And recently he had even started bossing over her. Lotusputra could not stomach the situation. He knew that Bharati was very beautiful at one time ! And now look at her ! She had gone so thin. She had no nice clothes. Lotusputra got angry with the Plowman. He wished he could somehow undo the marriage . And Bharati’s dreams were of a man with pale head and a dark body. And she would count the number of rings on the man’s fingers.



One fine day Plowman took Bharati on a trip. Lotusputra also wanted to come, Bharati liked the idea and convinced her husband to let Krishna come. They came to a forest and there was a temple. Bharati was tired and went to sleep in an adjoining hut. . The two brothers came into the temple . It was dilapidated. The Goddess inside was of course Kali. Her temples were always dilapidated. These temples were initially meant for some other God who would desert the place after the ceilings caved in. And later Kali would move in ! Her fair sister Gowri would never stay in such a temple. Both were consorts of the same great God who lived on the icy mountain.

The brothers came inside the temple. They started talking about how wives should be looked after. One thing led to other and the two brothers started arguing . Lotusputra shouted at the Plowman for not looking after Bharati properly. They started fighting. First it was just arm wrestling. .But the fight became severe. They went into the inner sanctorum and when they came out each had a sword in his hands. And before anybody knew what was happening, the two heads were rolling on the floor.

Bharati was sleeping in the adjoining hut. She again had her dream : A man with a pale head and a dark body was making love to her. Bharati woke up with a sweat. But decided to go back to sleep and the dream restarted exactly at the time and place she had left. In fact it even went slightly back in time to remind Bharati of all the joys. The love making continued and Bharati became an expert in counting. With his rings, the man’s hands were like a fleshy abacus and Bharati prided herself that she could count to three digits. When she woke up a blissful yawn escaped her mouth and she went in search of her men.

When she went into the temple , lo and behold, there were two heads on the ground in front of the idol. And then the two bodies also lying here and there. (No Blood ? We know how fond our Goddess is of the red warm fluid. Let us not guess further since it would invite the great mother’s wrath)

Bharati started sobbing. The sob became a cry . The cry became a howl. The Goddess who also was sleeping ( actually rather well , possibly because of the late night drink) woke up . And she was angry . Who are you to disturb my peace ? Why are you howling ? Bharati explained to the goddess that the heads belonged to her husband and his brother. She prayed to the Goddess to help her. Now Kali was not used to giving life. What she was good was at taking away life. Her sister Gowri ( also known as Uma) was good at giving life. Her husband, the God on the icy mountain , was good at giving life. But not Kaali ! Kaali did not know how these things were done . How can these men be brought back to life ? Let the girl also do her bit. She told the girl . Join the head to the body. They will then get up.

Bharati did things in a hurry. Or that is what she told others. Yes, I did not know what I was doing. How can I, a wife who has lost her husband and yes her brother in law too , think carefully and do these things. I was crying . Yes, Poor thing ! In that hurry Bharati had put her husband’s pale coloured head on her brother in law’s dark coloured body . And vice versa.Bharati started crying again. What should I do ? She asked Kaali who disdainfully laughed at Bharati and disappeared. Who was the husband ? Who was the brother in law ?

Bharati started living with her new husband:The man with the pale head and the dark body. The one who had an abacus for his hands. And where his wife would perfect her counting. Yes Bharati was happy for some time. But after few months she found that her counting had gone wrong. Normally she would count upto three digits. But on this night she could count only 90 ! She again counted, It was 90 alright. When she asked her husband, who was known now as Ramakrishna , he said that he had to sell away 10 rings since they had run out of food. The body had started listening to the head. Krishna who was good at making money had become a slave of Balram who would just spin yarns. And spinning yarns did not generate any income. With time Bharati would count less and less, Finally there was nothing to count. And when she complained her husband told her about their glorious heritage which had indeed discovered a number called Zero and she should concentrate on it . She had also started noticing that her husband’s torso was no more dark. It had slowly begun to match his face. The husband never did a single days work and had become a stranger to sun. Yes, Bharati realized that after years she had got back her old husband. And poverty had also returned !

Bharati’s discontents started increasing. She just did not love her husband any more. She hankered after her brother in law . May be he will come back with many rings. Bharati wished to pick up counting again . Did he again go to the distant seas ? Yes, but her brother in law finally returned. Bharati wondered when she saw him. Yes the body was the same pale colour But the face also had become pale. Bharati wondered . What really did happen ? Why is her brother in law not wearing rings ? Let alone many. Not even one ! What had happened was that while Balaram took orders from the head, Krishna had always taken orders from his body. And we want to remind you that he had been saddled with Balaram’s body. Which never did one single day’s work. And now both Balaram and Krishna had become same. The handyman and the lotus putra were really not different. May be they were different at one time. Now there was nothing to choose between them. The three did not know what to do and all of them went to the temple.

Well, to make a long (very long !) story short, history did not repeat. May be the Goddess had had her quota of the red fluid. When the two brothers went at each other with swords, she came out of the inner sanctorum and took away their swords. And asked them to beckon the dreaming wife. When Bharati came, she again started crying. The Divine mother told Bharati that the two brothers were in fact not much different from each other and it really did not matter who married her. But since each man wanted a wife the Goddess told them that the only solution was for the two men to share her. She gave an example of a lady from distant past who had to marry Five brothers and how Bharati’s situation was not all that bad. And as for poverty the Goddess quoted from a scripture of an alien religion and told her how blessed indeed were the poor . Balaram and Krishna made peace with each other and decided to share Bharati. Balaram would be the husband for the first 2 and a half years and the next 2 and a half years would be for Krishna. The arrangement did not please Bharati but there was not much else she could do ! We end this story paying respects to that other great fountain head of stories ‘The Tales from a thousand and one nights ‘ : This is the way they lived till the Destroyer of Delights and the Severer of societies came to take them away.



(The theme has been used in the past by several writers including Thomas Mann and Girish Karnad)
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(3) God and the Astrologer


Once upon a time there was a man who decided to become an astrologer. There was nothing new in it. His father and grandfather were astrologers. But the astrologer remained poor. He thought that he must have done something wrong in his last birth. Since we cannot really talk about that matter with any degree of competence, should we just proceed after simply accepting that there was some problem between him and God. However, this defeatist attitude does not become us and we should really enquire as to God’s dislike for this poor and hungry man.

The problem was simple. And it was not with the man but with his profession. It was God’s dislike, in fact hatred , of astrology. If human beings decide that life is totally dictated by conjunctions of various planets why will they need the presence of any divinity ! God becomes a zero and all that is needed are the seven planets ( At that time only He knew that Sun was actually a star and not a planet) . God hated astrology since it threatened his existence.

One day the poor astrologer was invited by the king of Vanga for his opinion about an important matter. The king was very worried that his daughter was not married. She was already in her early thirties. And she was born on a Monday. The king tried many alliances but everybody objected to the fact that she was born on a Monday. Some called her a Mongalik , The king asked the learned men as to the next course of action. There were many advices. But finally the king liked our astrologer’s advice. The princess should marry a plant and a donkey which would remove all obstructions for any future marriage. There was some argument about the astrologer’s advice. It mainly centred on the sex of the donkey. The king was happy that the solution had really been arrived at. The Mongalik princess was also happy and started dreaming about the donkey she would wed (The man intended for her would also appear in her dreams but probably later). And then the great dinner began !

Well, before the dinner was to begin, there was great commotion outside the palace. When the King ran out with his retinue to the gates of the palace, he saw a giant bird descend from the skies on the ground. There was lot of dust but no body could mistake the figure riding the great bird . It was the blue bodied Lord Vishnu himself with all his paraphernalia including the mace and the great wheel. Everybody bowed down to the Lord. The queen herself went to the door and did an Arati to welcome the Lord.

It looked like the Lord, who is always depicted with a smile, was not happy. In fact, He was angry. The King was afraid and when he asked the God as to the lack of a smile on the face, the Lord said he was not amused and wanted to know who the astrologer was who was being praised to the heavens. Yes, the praise had reached the heavens and that is how he came to know about this charlatan. The lord told the king to immediately produce the astrologer. The astrologer was asked to come and stand before the Lord.

The Lord did not like the astrologer. As we know it was not just this astrologer that the God did not like. He disliked all astrologers. He challenged the astrologer. Do you think you are greater than me ? The astrologer replied humbly and said No, Sir! I do not. The Lord said Do you know that I can take any shape I want. The astrologer replied I am sure you do. The Lord got angry. You are being sarcastic. I will show you how big I can become. And the Lord began growing up in size. Like the great Monkey before the ten headed demon. The Lord became huge. The king asked his queen to do another arati , a bigger one befitting a huge God, which was dutifully done. Then the Lord returned to his original shape and said now I will show you how small I can become. The Lord went on becoming small and small. He became a fly and started buzzing around the astrologer’s head. The astrologer tried to get rid of it by shooing away with his hands. But the fly did not go away. The astrologer was made of sterner stuff. He brought his hands down on the fly , caught him and swallowed him.

The dinner began and our astrologer had never seen such fine food . And such quantity. He ate well, actually very well. And then he finished his dinner. And started taking a nap. The God, now in the form of a fly, tried to find his way around . The astrologer had eaten well and there was actually not that much space left in the stomach. God had to manage within that much space. Further the digestive juices of the stomach had started to function . There was acid and then there was gas. The fumes from the acid bothered the fly. The gas was also coming up in all directions and the fly had to really avoid jets of gas.. After a good nap, the astrologer woke up. He then asked the King for a good hukkah. It was not as though he was a pucca hukkha smoker. It was just that he had heard that rich people smoked hukkah after food and he also wanted to do it. The King got him a hukkah and also showed him how to use it. The nicotine fumes went down to his stomach and the fly had lot of trouble finding its way between the nicotine fumes and the gases coming out of the digestion process. Thus when God was caught in the astrologer’s stomach, the world waited. And waited.

Life had come to a halt in the universe. The gods (Indra et al) were perplexed and found the reason and all of them rushed to the astrologer. One of the gods wanted to blow up the astrologer but it was pointed out to him that God also may be blown up in the process. They decided to plead with the astrologer to release God to which the astrologer agreed and said that his wish should be fulfilled . He asked that Goddess Lakshmi should come to him bringing him a gift of all of her ornaments.

When the gods consented and contacted the Goddess of Wealth she was initially not willing to part with her ornaments. The gods assured that they would present her with a new set of ornaments. She did agree but she was in no hurry. She did not mind some more time away from her Lord. She said she would eventually go down from the heavens to the astrologer. For now, all she wanted was a nice swim alone in the ocean of milk.

Lady Lakshmi did come later down to the astrologer and blessed him with all wealth. Since all his wishes wee fulfilled, the astrologer was ready to release the God from his stomach. Let us skip the delicate matter of how exactly this was achieved and just say that Lord Vishnu was united with his consort Lakshmi after a sacred and perfumed bath. Lady Lakshmi reprimanded her Lord that he was foolish to ignore the Kujadosha in his horoscope . His horoscope , She said, had predicted that he , the Great God Vishnu, would indeed spend some time in the stomach of a human being. And if He had acceded to her wish and taken her to all the seven seas He could have averted this mishap. God Vishnu demurred saying it was just a coincidence . When he probed her further about the horoscope, she was evasive. The Goddess took the end of her saree on to her nose (the nicotine smell on her beloved had not yet disappeared) and said ‘ Oh Lord, you know all this but you want me to tell you. You may be very superior but you cannot be an exception to the rules of the universe. For all that I know, may be you yourself wanted to marry the princess !!...‘ Well, the argument is probably going on even now !

And the astrologer married the Vanga princess ( he, of course, saw to it that a tree and a donkey preceded him). He also became the king of Vanga. Astrology flourished under his rule. It was also introduced as the main object of study in many houses of leaning. The later historians were to term this as the Golden Age of Astrology.

(It is said that God will wait for some more time to come back to earth to reestablish His rule. He will not let astrology undermine His importance ! After all it was he who told his dear disciple Arjuna : (yadaa yadaa dharmasya … glani ) Whenever the land gets full of adharma (read astrology ) .. , I will come and uphold the rule of Dharma’ . His coming again would be the stuff of another tale. )

(based partially on a Bengali folk tale; Also there are historical accounts of when astrology became very popular there were worries that it would undermine the importance of God in one’s life ! )





(4) Lady brings down the house


Once upon a time there was a couple called Jack and Jane. They lived in a town with a beautiful name. It was called the Auspicious Town. It was on the western seashore.. Both Jack and Jane were twenty when they got married. They had two sons. They built a nice house. They were not rich Therefore it was a small house. Jack died when the boys were still small. Jane worked here and there and managed to send the children to school. They were not bad students. They got good jobs. Jane got them married also.



Jane was a very slim woman. Except when she was having her children. She prided herself on how fit she was. But she was becoming big. This had started happening after the sons had gotten married. It is not that she ate much. Her sons or their wives never gave her enough food . Still she was becoming big. The daughters in law did not treat her well. In fact, they used to give her all types of jobs. And they scolded her a lot. Jane swallowed all these insults. She noticed that every time she swallowed an insult it would increase her weight. It is not that just heart that got heavy with sorrow. For Jane it was the whole body that got heavy.With every insult Jane got more and more swollen Everybody made fun of her. They called her the fat old lady. She could not reply since she knew she was fat.



There was a big wedding in her first daughter in law’s family. The whole family decided to take a vacation and attend the wedding. All the four of them went away asking Jane to look after the place. Jane asked herself . Am I a watch dog ? Is this the way to treat a mother? Jane felt like telling all her sorrows to somebody. Jane looked around at the walls.

She remembered the time she and Jack would argue about the height of the walls. She wanted it high but he said we cannot afford it . Still she had persisted and the house, though small, was built with high walls. She needed to share her sorrows with somebody. What about the walls ? People say walls have ears and she thought may be they know all my sorrows. It does not matter, just let me tell them !

.Jane looked up at the beautiful roof with red tiles The town made very nice tiles. She started talking to the wall. She told the eastern wall about her second son. About his birth. How she and husband Jack had looked forward to his birth. And then the joy when he was born. The first day he went to school. The first day he went to work. Then the day he got married. And then Jane started crying. The litany of woes started. She told the eastern wall how her second son had ill treated her. How he and his wife took away her money. She then heard a rumble. As though something moved below her. May be it moved the mother earth . She cried more and more . Now the rumble came from above.. May be it moved the heavens too . The photos hung on walls came off and fell on the floor. The plaster on the wall started peeling off.. Then one by one the bricks started giving way. And before she had finished complaining about her second son, the whole eastern wall had collapsed. If it had been morning the sun would have shone thro the wall. But now there was no sun. There was no wall. As Jane stood aghast she noticed something else. She had become lighter. She did not feel all of her weight any more.

Then she faced the south wall and started her litany of woes. This time it was how her second daughter in law had mistreated her. We will not dwell much on how she cried before all the three walls and how they all came down. She came out of the house and looked at the slow fall of her roof. The nice red tiles came down one by one.

After staring at the alling ceiling, she looked down at her body. It was half the size of what it was few hours ago. Jane was feeling extremely light. Just like when her sons were young. Just like when Jack was alive. Now she had no more sorrows. And she was slim and trim. She looked again at what was her house. It was all a rubble. Jane’s sons never came back. Jane did not want to rebuild the house. She took another house . And she died a trim woman. A happy woman. People sang her praises. How she was very fat. And how in a matter of hours she lost all her weight, Later some people tried to buy the place and build a house on it. NObody succeeded. The foundation would not set. If the foundation did set , the walls would not sit properly.

If you did happen to go to this town , the local guide will volunteer to take you to all the famous sites. For a measly ten rupees you are given a tour and told the story of the whole town. Your first place of visit would be the temple dedicated to the Auspicious Lady. She, after all , is the presiding deity of the town. The second place would be the workplace where those beautiful red tiles are made. The third place would be a sprawling campus believed to be the world headquarters of a secret society devoted to esoteric studies of timber. Like the alchemists of yore they aspire for excellence symbolized by the yellow metal. The Golden Blog, they call it ! May be they wont take you to the next place since it would be full of nicotine odour.



Jane's House would be the last site you would be taken , It is just a piece of land. A patch with nothing on it. They say Jane has cursed this piece of land. The locals say it will be like this for ever. Because there will always be sons who do not respect their mothers . Because there will always be sons who will ill treat their fathers. If you did go there during the night, you would be treated to a veritable Light and Sound show. A trim female ghost would welcome you with a waltz and a smile. And the ghost would dance and sing. The song would be about ungrateful sons and the woes of parents. And what would happen if one keeps one’s worries bottled up inside ! And how you would feel lighter if you shared your troubles !
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Another version of the above story !

Once upon a time there was a couple called Jack and Jane. They lived in a town with a beautiful name. It was called the Auspicious Town. It was on the west coast of the country. Both Jack and Jane were twenty when they got married. They had two sons. They built a nice house. They were not rich Therefore it was a small house. Jack died when the boys were still small. Jane worked here and there and managed to send the children to school. They were not bad students. They got good jobs. Jane got them married also.

Jane was a very slim woman. Except when she was having her children. She prided herself on how fit she was. But she was becoming big. This had started happening after the sons had gotten married. It is not that she ate much. Her sons or their wives never gave her enough food . Still she was becoming big. The daughters in law did not treat her well. In fact, they used to give her all types of jobs. And they scolded her a lot. Jane swallowed all these insults. She noticed that every time she swallowed an insult it would increase her weight. It is not that just heart that got heavy with sorrow. For Jane it was the whole body that got heavy. Everybody made fun of her. They called her the fat old lady. She could not reply since she knew she was fat.

There was a big wedding in her first daughter in law’s family. The whole family decided to take a vacation and attend the wedding. All the four of them went away asking Jane to look after the place. Jane asked herself . Am I a watch dog ? Is this the way to treat a mother? Jane felt like telling all her sorrows to somebody. Jane looked around at the walls.

She remembered the time she and Jack would argue about the height of the walls. She wanted it high but he said we cannot afford it . Still she had persisted and the house, though small, was built with high walls. She needed to share her sorrows with somebody. What about the walls ? People say walls have ears and she thought may be they know all my sorrows. It does not matter, just let me tell them !

Jane stood before the east wall. She started talking to the wall. She told the eastern wall about her second son. About his birth. How she and husband Jack had looked forward to his birth. And then the joy when he was born. The first day he went to school. The first day he went to work. Then the day he got married. And then Jane started crying. The litany of woes started. She told the eastern wall how her second son had ill treated her. How he and his wife took away her money. She then heard a rumble. As though something moved below her. May be it moved the mother earth . She cried more and more . Now the rumble came from above.. May be it moved the heavens too . The photos hung on walls came off and fell on the floor. The plaster on the wall started peeling off.. Then one by one the bricks started giving way. And before she had finished complaining about her second son, the whole eastern wall had collapsed. If it had been morning the sun would have shone thro the wall. But now there was no sun. There was no wall. As Jane stood aghast she noticed something else. She had become lighter. She did not feel all of her weight any more.

Then she faced the south wall and started her litany of woes. This time it was how her second daughter in law had mistreated her. We will not dwell much on how she cried before all the three walls and how they all came down. Now she was standing below the ceiling made of tiles. They were beautiful tiles. Yes , this famous town on the western sea had always produced nice red tiles.

After staring at the ceiling, she looked down at her body. It was half the size of what it was few hours ago. Jane was feeling extremely light. Just like when her sons were young. Just like when Jack was alive. Now she had no more sorrows. And she was slim and trim. She looked again at what was her house. The walls were not there. The ceiling was there. It was as though it was just hanging there . Defying gravity

Dear reader, do not say this is a miracle. Do not attribute it to the man who died on the cross. Not even to the great God who stole butter when he was a child. Because gods know science and they respect natural laws. The ceiling indeed was supported. .Jane had transferred all her sorrows to the walls. The bricks crumbled. But the sorrows were still there, Yes the sorrows with their weight supported the ceiling. It is just that the sorrows were invisible. Jane’s sons never came back to the house. And Jane died a trim woman. A happy woman. People sang her praises. How she was very fat. And how in a matter of hours she lost all her weight.

If you did happen to go to this town and ask them for interesting sights that it has to offer , the local guide will volunteer to take you to all the famous sites. For a measly ten rupees you are given a tour and told the story of the whole town. Your first place of visit would be the temple dedicated to the Auspicious Lady. She, after all , is the presiding deity of the town. The second place would be the workplace where those beautiful red tiles are made. The third place would be a sprawling campus believed to be the world headquarters of a secret society devoted to esoteric studies of timber. Like the alchemists of yore they aspire for excellence symbolized by the yellow metal. The Golden Blog, they call it ! Let us skip the next place because it would be full of nicotine odour.

The last site you would be taken to would be the House with No Walls near the seashore . Yes, it is Jnae’s house and as we told you earlier, it looks like the ceiling with the red tiles is there by itself. However , if you try to enter what you think is the empty space beneath the tiles the walls stop you. They push you back with their invisible might. And the locals say that this house will stay like this for ever. Because there will always be sons who do not respect their mothers . Because there will always be sons who will ill treat their fathers. And it is the sorrows of those fathers and mothers that support the ceiling with those nice red tiles. If you did go there during the night, you would be treated to a veritable Light and Sound show. A trim female ghost would welcome you with a waltz and a smile. And the ghost would dance and sing. The song would be about ungrateful sons and the woes of parents. And what would happen if one keeps one’s worries bottled up inside ! And how you would feel lighter if you shared your troubles !

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(5) ALTAR OF THE ALCHEMISTS (The High Priests of Agrahara)

(original is in Oriya)


Once upon a time a set of priests lived in a place by the river. It was called Agrahara . They were all well versed in Vedic rituals. All their homes consisted of an open quadrangle at the center of the house. This is where they would set up their sacrificial altar. They would get up early in the morning and after bath would rekindle the sacred fire. The gods were happy with them and decided to reward them.

The chief of the priests had recently conducted the marriage of his youngest son. The bride was very young and innocent. .She was barely out of her teens and was scared of many things including darkness. On one night she woke up to attend to a call of nature. It was a New Moon (Ammavasya) night . It was just after midnight and dark everywhere. If it had been day time, she certainly would have gone to the backside of the house. But now she was scared. And the call was urgent. She tiptoed to the center of the quadrangle . She came near the sacrificial alter and performed the task. And she went back and slept. As the gods had decided to reward the priests, the piece of wood on which the amber liquid had fallen was turned into a golden log.

The chief took his bath in the morning and came to the altar to rekindle the sacred fire. But what does he see ? A big log of gold. He questioned all members of his family. The youngest daughter in law told the truth : She had pissed into the altar ! The chief told her that if nature did call her again, she should wake up somebody and go with them to the backside of the house. As he removed the golden log he realized that this was the way gods had rewarded him.

The chief was not a poor man He was also not lacking in learning. But his was not the type of learning that would give wisdom and therefore greed entered his head. He waited till the next New Moon day . Just after mid night he woke up his daughter in law and told her to repeat the act of the last month. She did as she was told . And in the morning there was another golden log for the chief. He bought lot of clothes for everybody in the family. He also bought a bigger house. But still with a central quadrangle . And with an altar in the middle of the quadrangle. And certain adjustments to the altar for his daughter in law to keep up her good work. We won’t enquire as to what the adjustments were.

Everybody in the Agrahara had noticed that the chief had gotten rich . But how did he manage to get that rich ? The truth did slowly trickle out of his home. The other priests did not want to be left behind. They also wanted to try out the method pioneered by the chief. The minute details had to be attended to. It had to be on a New Moon night . And that too five minutes after midnight, not sooner , not later. And it had to be the youngest daughter in law of the house.

Everybody started preparing for the next ammavasya. And the youngest daughter in law in every household was looked after with all kindness. And finally the day came when moon would take the night off. We will just relate what happened in the household of the deputy chief. (This was repeated all over the Agrahara ) His youngest daughter in law was fed the choicest of the sweets. And she was made to drink all types of juices (It was really not obvious how much water had to be outputted into the altar). She was also asked to sleep early. And immediately after the stroke of midnight hour the deputy chief took his daughter in law to the altar. And in the morning when he peeped into the altar a golden log was lying in the middle of the altar.

This was the way the entire Agrahara got rich. Of course there were exceptions like some who did not have sons. There was no way that the ceremony could be undertaken since it needed a daughter in law. Some of them got around this by adopting two sons and getting both of them married. In one household without any children the wife insisted on doing it herself. But when taken near the altar she got scared and turned back.

The priests had always thought high of themselves. Added to it they were all very prosperous now. They called themselves the High Priests . And they considered the rest of the villagers as very inferior to them. The greed of the priests had already reached the heavens. The gods also realized that nobody sacrificed to them any more. The sacrificial altars were not being used to make sacrifices to gods. They were being used to make gold. With time the priests had forgotten all the mantras they used to call upon various gods. This is when the gods decided to punish these greedy priests.

The entire Agrahara was looking forward to the next New Moon day. Indeed the night came and the usual ceremony was conducted. The chief got up in the morning and peeped into the altar. Apart from bad smell there was nothing else. He wanted to check with others but felt that people may laugh at him. He wondered whether anything went wrong with the ceremony. Did the daughter in law have enough to drink ? After all the ceremony seemed to require generous amount of water. She told him that she did everything according to his rules.

In fact it was the same case everywhere. But nobody wanted to talk with others. All of them felt that they must have faulted some part of the ritual. And they went on trying . A whole year went by without the golden log making its appearance. The bad smell in each household had increased. Since the people had spent all their money buying all types of things, there was also no money for food.

The chief realized that there was no point in keeping things secret. He got all of them together and had a meeting. All of them agreed reed that gods must be angry. So the first thing was to make sacrifices to the gods, propitiate them. All the priests got together in the chief’s home . The altar in the quadrangle was brushed with fresh cowdung . And all of them had sacred bath and sat around the altar. They asked the chief to start the mantras. The chief smiled and tried to recite the first mantra honouring the king of gods. But no sound came out of his throat. He smiled again and cleared his throat and then tried to recite. Again no sound came from him. He got embarrassed and asked his deputy to preside over the ceremony. The deputy was very happy with his new position and smiled. And he started to recite. But nothing came out of his throat too l He again smiled, cleared his throat . But the result was the same. He got up and asked others . Alas, no body could recite even the first mantra for the ceremony. Greed had taken away all their learning. All of them had forgotten their mantras !

They all felt very ashamed and one by one they disappeared from the Agrahara. The only thing they left behind was the bad smell from their altars. The villagers had to put up with it since they were afraid to go into these holy houses. The bad smell continued till the nearby river shifted its course and the entire Agrahara was submerged.

Glossary :

sacrificial altar = , a squarish construction in which the sacred fire would be kept (called Yajna Kund)

Agrahara = a place set aside for Brahmins of the town

Ammavasya = New moon

Notes:

Prof A.K.Ramanujan was a well known scholar who taught in the university of Chicago. He wrote poetry/fiction/literary criticism etc in Kannada, Tamil and English languages. He brought out a collection of Indian Folk tales few years before he passed away .These stories by me are my own (per)version of some of these tales.



(6)TWIST IN THE TAIL (THE SERPENT AND THE ROPE)

A sage was coming into a town when he accidentally stepped on a serpent. It was a beautiful serpent. It was a Cobra.The serpent hissed and raised its hood. The sage looked kindly at the serpent.He brought forth his right handto keep it on the head of the serpent to bless it. The serpent realized that this was a learned man. And a kind man. It bowed to the sage. The sage blessed the serpent and said you should becomea nice being from now on. THOU SHALL NOT BITE . Promise me . The snake did its pranams to the sage and said I will not bite anybody.



Next day the snake entered a field where children were playing. The children ran away seeing the snake. Some of them threw stones at the snake. The snake was hurt .It also felt sad. Why don’t they realize that I have become a nice person now. Maybe I should not even raise my head. Next day the snake again came when children were playing. This time some childrendid not leave the place. They came nearer the snake. Some even touched it. Nothing happened. They shouted and started laughing.Next day also the incident repeated. More children touched the snake. Some even petted the snake.Some pierced it with sharp pins. Some lit matchsticks and threw them on the snake. Snake was not used to all this touchingand started to react. But it remembered its promise. It kept quite. It expected to be liked and loved because it had become a nice person. But nothing like that happened. They just ridiculed it. It decided to go away to another town. Hopefully a more friendly town. On the way it met a man who could talk to it. The snake was glad that here was somebody whowould understood its problems.The man told the snake to come with him and be his friend. He told the snake that he would look after it well. The snake did not know the name of its master. People called him a philosopher.



On a Sunday evening in the town, many people were walking towards the Town Hall. The papers had announced that there was going to be a nice talk from a great philosopher.He was to talk on Advaita philosophy. This was the great philosophy propounded by the Upanishads, those great books of the past. And by the great Adi Shankara. At one time this type of talk would beheld in some smallroom in a small college and the organizers had to cajole people to come and listen to the talk. But times had changed. There was new pride in the nation about itsgreat heritage. And how it all began in this great country !The philosopher was known as a good speaker . Therefore, the Town Hallwas bound to be full. But there was one moreattraction !The papers had announced that the learned speaker was going to demonstrate the Truths of the great philosophy. It was rumoured that the demonstration would be a very unusual one ! How does one really demonstrate an essentially esoteric topic ?



The crowd exceeded the organizer’s expectations. The halls were full. So were the aisles. The speaker walked in and the audience stood up to cheer the famousman. The applause went on for sometime. And some people were standing even after the applause.Some were leaning forward to get a good look at the speaker.Not just the speaker but alsosome thing around his neck. Was it a garland of some type ? No, cannot be! It is moving. It is a snake. It is a serpent. Why was this learned man dressed like the great Shiva ? Is this a part of the demonstration that was to be ? Slowly silence reigned in the room. An eerie silence !



The philosopher started his talk. He went on to talk about the divine illusion which he called the Maya . He said Maya makes things look like what they are not. And the person who cansee through this veil of illusionwould never be born again .It was not obvious what enthralled theaudience. Was it his oratory ? Was it his obvious learnedness ? Or was it that garland around his neck which moved here and there.



The philosopher finally interrupted his flow of words. And he took what seemed to be the garland and kept it on the table in front of him and showed the object to the audience. Look here . What do you see ? Yes Sir, the gentleman in the first row . Yes, with the blue suit. Sir what do you see ? The man said I see a serpent. Then the philosopher turned to the Lady in the third row. Madam in the green saree, what do you see here ? She also said ; I see a serpent. The audience was not comfortable. It was not as though the snake was inside a bag, or a Clay vessel. No ! The snake was on the table in front of the philosopher. What if the serpent decides to come down from the stage and bite the first man in the first row. Or even the beautiful lady next to the first man on the first row. The audience was uneasy that instead of his talk they had to see this huge serpent on the table. !




Again there was the booming voice of the speaker. Now I willshow l you the tenets of the great Advaita. You say you are seeing a serpent. But this actually is a rope. Maya , the great cosmic illusion is responsible for you to see this rope as a serpent. Madam in the 3rd row ! Yes, you in the green saree !Can you pleasecome and see for yourself?Please bring yourson also. The son tried to run towards the stage but his mother stopped him. She asked him to sit back on the seat and hesitantly came up the stage.Yes, Seemadam, you think this is a snake.Does it hiss ? Does it bite ? Please touch it, Is there any sensation ?Cold ? Well we had kept this in an air conditioned room. Now the lady was more at ease, She handled the serpent.She exclaimed : Yes, it is a rope. Let me tie a knot. The philosopher said why not,And the madam tied a knot, This was not pleasant for the serpent but it remembered thepromise to the sage.Andsufferedit in silence. After the Lady in the green sareewent back, there was a stampede to ascertain this great truth of Advaita. The philosopher admonished the crowd and asked them to form a queue and not to handle theobject for a long time. However, one of the curious happened to be a mathematician and he enthralled the audience bya short discourse on the fascinating Theory of Knots. He also demonstrated various knots including the famous figure eight (8)Knot !All this was tryingfor the serpent but it decided to keep quite for the sake of its master !




By now the serpent had spent about a year with the philosopher. Initially it was happy that it was being useful in elucidation of two greatest endevaours of the human mind viz Philosophy and Mathematics. But it was slowly beginning to think deeply about its fate.Yes, its master was feeding it alright. But this routine of sitting on top of a table . And this business of knots ! And especially the mathematicians and their theories ! Why don’t they use a real rope ? Or am I a real rope ? This is how the identity crisis of the serpent began. Am I a serpent ? Or am I a rope ? It tried to talk to the master. But the master had no time. His fame had reached all over the world. Oncethe masterdid indeed listen to the serpentbut all he did was to laugh loud for a long time! On one fine day in front of the audience the serpent did indeed slither away . There was commotion . Children shoutedand one of them said Look. A moving rope




The serpent went away to the jungle outside the town. Yes, I was nice. I did not bite anybody. But it is high time that I sought the advice of the great sage again. And it waited for the sage. The sage indeed did come and saw the serpent bowing down to him. He blessed the serpent and askedit about its life. The serpent recounted the whole story and told himthat it was not happy. I had given you a promise and I did not want to break it. The sage laughed and said that yes, you have kept up the promise. I am glad for you. But you also did something which I never asked for ! The serpent was puzzled . The sage went on. I asked you not to bite. But I never asked you not to hiss ! If you had hissed,children would not have thrown stones at you. And you need not have been a party to those stupidphilosophy lessons and you would never have gotten entangled in knots !

When provoked, you should at least hiss, if not bite !

(From a Bengali folk tale)

From SwapnaVasavdutta by Bhasa:




Vasantaka (Jester): Here is a snake wriggling on the floor

Udayana(King)(looks down, laughs) Ha ! The idiot thinks he

sees a snake……



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THE MUSIC OF THE GHOSTS:

Nov 29 2007 | Views 173 | Comments (10)


Somadatta was a learned man . He knew all the Vedas. But he was also a poor man since nobody wanted to pay to listen to the Vedas. He decided to go to the City to see whether he could get any teaching job. When he was walking in the forest on the way to the city , he heard cacophonous sounds coming from within an old dilapidated temple. When he went there he saw a middle aged man playing a clarinet. Somadatta tried talking to him but the man did not care to listen. After Somadatta persisted for a time, the musician replied that the people of the town had sent him away seated on a donkey and this was the only place where he could continue to concentrate on the one and only talent given to him by God. As Somadatta walked away, he heard somebody calling him. “Learned Sir, Please deliver me from this hell.” When he looked around he noticed a corpse on the neem tree in the compound.

The voice belonged to a Betal within the corpse. When Somadatta came near, Betal said to Somadatta, “Learned Sir, I cannot take this anymore. This man is out to destroy all music. He gets up at 5 in the morning and takes up his clarinet even without washing his face. He goes on till eight . He thinks he is practicing the morning ragas. He practices again in the afternoon . In the evening he takes a few drinks and starts the night session. He starts at six in the evening and ends at eleven in the night. He gives them the name of evening ragas. He is really in ecstasies by the time he finishes. But ,Sir, that is my hour of real agony. I cannot take it any more. Please do something”.

Here we digress upon the nature of Betals. Betals are souls of people who tried to achieve much but could not do so due to deficiencies inherent in them. It is not obvious which pronoun should be used for a soul which really does not have any body parts, especially the ones which define the gender. However the pronoun ‘it’ is cumbersome to use when describing conversations. Also we will use the generic name as the proper name. Further while Betals have many powers what they do not have is that of movement. They need somebody else to transport them from place to place. If it is indeed seen in the course of events that they move by themselves it is probably due to a lapse in the concentration of the author. They also need a physical body around to manifest themselves. At times they reside within the body (dead or alive) or they attach themselves to the back of the body. We may meet with some other properties of Betals as we go along.

Betal implored Somadatta,” Sir, Please take this apology for a musician away from the temple. Only then I can live in peace. You are a big man. Why don’t you take his clarinet away?” Somadatta told Betal that he was a peaceful person and he did not believe in such measures. Betal continued, “I was actually a well known musician when I was alive. Even a layman cannot listen to this fellow’s music and it is especially difficult for me. This is nothing but cold blooded murder of harmony “. Somadatta told Betal that the better way would be for him to remain there and teach the musician. Betal retorted , “ Sir, this man is not just an ignorant ass but also a very arrogant one. I told him that I could teach him but he said that God had given him a great talent and he did not want to fritter it away listening to some dead souls. The fellow does not even know that souls do not die”. Somadatta did not like this barrage of words from Betal. He was not the type to talk much. He was not even the type to which one can talk much.

Betal went on imploring him to take away the musician from the temple . Somadatta did not care for either the musician or Betal and he decided to leave the scene. Just when he was ready to depart Betal said, “ Sir, Please help me and I will make you very rich”. Somadatta started laughing and asked Betal “ How can you make me rich when you cannot even help yourself?” .Betal told Somadatta that there are things he can do and there are things he cannot do and requested him again to take him away from the corpse. Somadatta decided to trust Betal and after listening to some instructions managed to take the Betal on his own back. Seeing these two depart, the musician was very happy and picked up his clarinet though these were not his normal hours.

Somadatta started walking to the City as he had planned earlier, but now with Betal on his back who was not heavy since souls usually do not weigh more than a few grams (It should be noted that contrary to popular belief souls are not massless ). Just to pass the time Betal told him how one of his ancestors had told a famous king 27 stories each with a puzzle at the end . Somadatta asked Betal to retell the stories and that is how they passed time till they reached the city.

When they reached the market place of the city, they came to know that the king of the city had a very beautiful daughter and that he was looking for a suitable match. When Betal heard it, his mouth watered ( You need not wonder but the truth is that all souls, alive or ‘ dead’, do lust. The bodies just do the soul’s bidding). He had been known as a ladies’ man when he was alive . Betal said to Somadatta ,” Learned Sir, I will go to the palace and occupy the body of the princess. You can go to the court after a week and say that you can heal the princess. When you come in front of the princess, I will leave her and go. The king will give you a lot of money. Sir, this is the way I will repay your kindness to me”.

The princess was an unusually calm young lady not given to frivolities. She was not known to smile often. She was also not fond of music. We mention this fact explicitly because as soon as Betal entered her body (we are only speaking figuratively here) she burst into a melodious song. It was a merry one and also slightly bawdy. She started acting out the song which had many words with double meanings in which her tone seemed to prefer the second one. All her friends in the harem were surprised at this transformation and ran to the court to report it to the king.

The king immediately came to the harem and was greeted with beautiful sounds. The princess was singing a song describing the divine and dark lover and his many loves. But when the princess saw the king she got up , came to her father and kissed him loudly on the cheeks. And started a jovial song and that too a bawdy one (One of her friends later remarked to the king that the princess seemed to know too many bawdy songs). The king was aghast at his daughter mouthing these rather naughty words. He went back to the court and discussed it with his ministers who all came to the conclusion that a ghoul had taken possession of the princess. The king announced that he will give a big reward to the person who can heal the princess.

A week had passed and Somadatta went to the king’s court and announced that he will exorcise the ghoul and heal the princess. Nobody believed him but Somadatta persisted. He was taken to the princess and when Betal saw him, a new bawdy song came out from the princess’ mouth. Somadatta was angry but Betal within the princess seemed to have a nice time singing it . Somadatta saw it as a breach of trust. He then threatened Betal that he would bring the musician from the forest. On hearing him, Betal uttered a scream and came out of the princess. Everybody noticed that the princess had ceased to sing. She even feigned modesty and covered her face in front of Somadatta.

After Somadatta took away Betal from the princess, he was honoured and paid a handsome amount of money from the king. Somadatta and Betal realized that they had a good thing going for them and got into a type of partnership. Betal would go and take hold of a princess and Somadatta would eventually go to that place and get Betal off the back of the princess. The king would present Somadatta with a lot of money. Betal did not care for the money but he liked the princesses. Somadatta had gotten used to the money and did not want to end the partnership. They also traveled a lot seeking places with princesses.

With time they ran out of all the princesses in the land. There were more problems when rebellions started everywhere with the populace screaming for the heads of royalty. Meanwhile Somadatta had started indulging in all the vices and squandered the money. When he had no money left , he ordered Betal to go and catch all and sundry. Betal got disillusioned and refused. When Somadatta threatened to take him back to the forest, Betal told him that he will go there willingly

When Betal went to the temple in the forest , he saw that the musician had become old but his music had not improved. But when Betal told him that he would teach him, the musician readily agreed . With time the musician became very good at not just the clarinet but several other instruments. Betal would sing and the musician would play the instruments.

When the musician died , his soul did not want to leave the dilapidated temple. Thus the Betal and the musician's soul stuck on to the forest and the duo continued their music. They were joined by several other singing and dancing ghouls. The forest became famous for its music of the ghosts. The variety of music that they would play was mind boggling. It was said that even gods come down to hear the music and see the dance of the ghouls . And Somadatta..? Well Let us not spoil the beautiful ending with talks of greedy men .

(Based loosely on an old folk tale)

Never Spurn a Story

Oct 12 2007 | Views 250 | Comments (9)

On one Sunday, a day very dear to the Sun god, Amma, who was taking a nap in the afternoon, suddenly got up. The Sun god had come in her dream and told her the story about the birth of the universe. He had also shown her various sights of the universe. At the very end he had commanded her that she should tell the story to at least one more person before the next Sunday.

Amma was shook up by the dream in her nap. It was not the usual type of dream for her. It was not that gods did not visit her in her dream. They indeed did but it would be mainly to tell her to break a coconut on the temple floor. At times depending on the severity of her problems it would be two coconuts. But one particular god had fun tormenting the old lady. He would demand that a chicken be sacrificed. Now this pious lady was a vegetarian and loathed such dreams. She would ignore them but she did succumb once and only once after the god became persistent.

But this afternoon dream was extraordinary. Since Amma was worried that she might forget the subject of the dream, she immediately wrote down the story as the Sun god had told her. She did get confused about whether the quarks or the quasars came first (Please do not blame her since it was the first time we also heard of such stuff and we could have gotten confused in retelling it to you. Also please note that it many not have much impact on the story we are trying to tell you). She was quite happy when she read out to herself what she had written. She decided it was fairly accurate though she did not understand even a word of what she had written. It did not matter to her since she had never tried to understand even the hundred and odd hymns she sang every morning. Understanding anything was not a big part of her life.

There was, of course, another important matter. The Sun god had not just told her a story but also shown her many of the great sights of the universe as he went on telling the story. She remembered the god showing her many particles of the universe. Yes, he had placed an electron on her left palm uttering its name and asked her whether it was heavy. And she had said no. But when he placed a proton on her right palm, she had uttered the word HEAVY even before he could ask her. Before taking the proton off from her palm, he had said’ Yes, it is 2000 times heavier than an electron!’ And the dream had gone on like that. She had seen the first nucleus that was formed and later the first atom, the first star, the first galaxy, the first cell, the first human being etc. The old woman did not know how to bring in these illustrations to tell her story. She knew an ordinary monotonous recanting would be disservice to such a great story. Though she did not understand it, she knew that this was going to be a great story. She decided to act out the whole story. After all, she had been a dancer in her younger years. Well, not quite! She had taken dancing lessons for few months when she was ten years old. Her mother was more interested in this enterprise than her and the young girl did not learn more than a few steps. But Amma decided to use those few steps she had learnt in her childhood to embellish her story telling!

The next thing Amma had to do was to find somebody to whom she could tell the story. Once that was done, she could just forget the whole thing. If she got a dream about gods in the future it would hopefully be only in connection with breaking coconuts on temple floors. At first she tried to get hold of her grand children and tell them the story. But they told her that they were very busy and that she will have to wait till the next vacation to tell them any stories. Then she tried to tell the story to her daughter in law who replied that she had too much work to do at home. The daughter in law also retorted that if everybody did his or her work properly at home she would not have to suffer all the time. The two had never got along and this retort by the daughter in law was actually quite polite compared to her earlier diatribe. The next person she approached was her son. He was the president of the Rationalists Association, an organization well known for its attempts to stop people being tricked by god-men. The son laughed at the mention of this dream by his mother. He told her that there was nothing like a Sun god. According to him, Sun was just another star. The mother retorted asking why stars should not come in dreams and tell stories. The only reply that the son could give was that she should eat less and certainly not drink that sweet concoction made using those opium seeds!

Well, before we go further we have a very unfortunate duty to perform. Till now our story has been quite even, with a little bit of cheer and some attempted humour. We have no option but to let the element of tragedy enter our story. The great Aristotle said that tragedy ennobles people. May be it does, but all we know is that it breaks people. But the Greeks have a lesson for us and that is that gods should not be spurned. And one should listen if somebody has a story to tell you, and that is what the relatives of the old Lady did not do. They had offended the Sun god by not listening to the story by him. They had also offended a greater god, the god of stories. Never spurn a story!

We will take these cases one by one. The disasters, which were to strike the family, did not happen instantly. They all happened slowly in order to to intensify the pain. The rationalist son became an astrologer but he and his family starved since there were many like him in that town. His wife, the old lady’s daughter in law, fell down when she was taking bath and broke her leg. Both their children failed in their examinations and the son dropped out of school

The old lady went to the town square and requested the people gathered there to listen to the story. Nobody listened to her and some people even ridiculed her. After she went away looking for other people to listen to her story, a big catastrophe visited the ones who had refused to listen to her. A huge water fountain around which they were seated immediately started spewing fire. People ran away from the spot but not before some of them lost their souls. It has to be noted here that the gods indeed are not all that malevolent and do not punish anybody by loss of life.

Amma went along unmindful of the devastation caused by her. She finally went into a colony outside the town where a young woman said that she would be willing to listen to the story. Amma was very happy and blessed the young woman who was six months pregnant. But before Amma could start telling the story, the incessant heat sent the tired young woman to sleep. Amma was perturbed and did not know what to do. She did not want to disturb the young mother to be and decided to leave the scene.

Just when she was about to leave the room she heard a low voice. It said ‘ Please do not go’. Amma was surprised and looked around. The sound had come from the direction of the sleeping mother. Amma again heard the voice imploring her not to go. Now she was certain that it was from the insides of the sleeping young lady. It was the six-month-old fetus

begging her not to go! The fetus told Amma that it would like to listen to the story: Please tell me the story from the beginning to the end. Amma was very happy that finally somebody was going to listen to the story. The only sad part was that the fetus wont be able to see her acting out the story. When she was wondering about it, the fetus told Amma that it could see her quite well. It said,‘Little blurred, but OK’.

Amma was very happy and acted out the story of the birth of the universe told her by the great Sun god. She started from the Big Bang. The child questioned about what was there before the big bang. Amma said she did not know and wondered whether the Sun god who told her the story also knew the answer. It went on in that pattern and Amma slowly realized that she herself was able to comprehend whatever she was telling the child. And when she came to the part when the first star was born it was as though Amma herself was a part of the whole process. At the end Amma could also see the fetus clearly. Amma blessed the child that she would grow up to be a woman of great knowledge. The fetus thanked Amma for her wonderful story and went back to sleep.

Amma did not go back home. She became a wandering mendicant. And she would go round towns and villages telling the great story in the evenings. The story was not of gods but of the birth of the universe, the first particle, the first atom, the first star, the first galaxy and the first human being….

(Very loosely based on a Tamil folk tale- A.K.Ramanujan's collection)

ALTERED DESTINIES

Dec 10 2007 | Views 123 |


I am Brahma. No, this is not a philosophical statement. It is just the truth. People say that when I write a person’s future on his forehead at his birth it can never be erased. Is it true?

There was this hut in the forest and the news came to me that a child was born there. I had to go there fast and write its future on its forehead. I ran to the hut that looked like the dwelling of Rishis. A youth answered when I knocked on the door. He said that I couldn’t go in since his teacher’s wife was resting after delivering a baby. I told him that I got to go inside and write the child’s future. The youth, presumably a scholar, said that he would let me in if I reveal to him about what will be written on the forehead. I said I really do not know since the writing is done by my forefinger. He did not trust me first but finally said that he will let me in only if I promise to tell him what was written on the forehead. I agreed reluctantly and went inside near the child. I kept my forefinger on the child’s forehead. I felt bad when I saw what was written. When I got out of the house I told the scholar that all that the child was destined to have is just one buffalo. He started crying and asked me whether I can go inside again and try again. I told him that I was sorry and these things, which are done, cannot be undone.

That is the way I spend my life. I agree it is not pleasant. May be when I was a child some superior being wrote this on my forehead. It is not just that. I have to see that this future is fulfilled also. I had forgotten all about that child till the time came for me to visit the hut again.

Yes, that teacher’s wife was again in labour and a girl child had arrived on the scene. I went to the hut again and the story was repeated. The young scholar allowed me in only after I promised to tell him about what was written on this child’s forehead. Well, my forefinger wrote whatever it wanted to write on the forehead and when I read it I felt really bad. When I came out of the house, I told the youth that the finger had written that this girl child would live the life of a courtesan. Seeing him cry I also could not help shedding a few tears.

I soon forgot about it all till that male child became a youth and eventually a householder. His name was Krishna and as per the writing of my own forefinger, my assistant followed my orders and left a buffalo in his backyard. His family managed to barely survive by selling the milk of the animal. It was not a nice life but that is what had been ordained for him by his acts in his last birth.

A year or two had passed when my assistant woke me up on an early morning and told me that I have to provide a buffalo for that youth. I asked him about the one we had given him. He said it has disappeared and he will find out later. But it was our duty at the moment to provide him with a buffalo. We managed to get a buffalo and plant it in his backyard. And I thought that was the end of it. But my assistant woke me up again next morning with the same complaint. I did not like it but we again managed to get a buffalo and leave it in his yard. I was worried that it would repeat and it indeed did. Promptly just before dawn my assistant appeared and complained about the missing buffalo. We just had to keep finding buffaloes for this youth every morning. It was not just our reputation but the whole system would get discredited if we fail to deliver the buffalo to the youth’s house. My assistant told me meanwhile that the youth’s family was doing very well. It seems they looked healthy and had good clothes. The family also looked after many poor people in the town.

Anyway I refused to lose sleep over this and told my assistant not to bother me every morning. If he finds the buffalo missing he just had to find one and plant it in the youth’s backyard. The assistant complained that it was becoming difficult to get buffaloes and he was actually raiding the stables of the Lord of Death.

I was foolish to believe that I wont hear anymore about the family. The female child had grown up to be a beautiful girl. Her name was Shubha and she had become a courtesan to escape the poverty, which was a curse for the entire family. Yes, what my forefinger had written had come true. I did not like it but that is the way it was.

I was woken up early one morning by my assistant. I told him not to bother me again about buffaloes. He said that it was not about buffaloes but about that young girl who had become a courtesan. He said that it was almost daybreak and since she has not got a single customer she will be hungry next day. He reminded me that it was our duty to see that she is not hungry. He further told me that she did not get any customers that night because she demanded a high price for her services. My assistant said that she demanded a kilogram of gold from men who wanted to spend time with her. There was nobody who can give that to her. I thought about it and my assistant to take a kilo of gold to her house. But he said that she would take money only after rendering her services. I thought for some more time and told him that he himself spend the night with her. My assistant acted horrified. He told me that while he respected me there were things even he could not do just to please me and left the scene with a huff. I did not have any choice. I put on the garb of a client and went to the young lady’s house. I deposited the kilogram of gold as soon as I entered which the young lady took only after she had rendered her services. I had mixed feelings when I left the house.

My assistant came in the afternoon and said that he cannot go every morning to plant a buffalo in Krishna’s backyard. He said that he will find a buffalo somehow by evening and will leave it in my house. He told me that since the two homes were near I could take the buffalo when I visit the young lady. There was nothing else I could do but agree. So my duty every night was to take the buffalo and visit the young lady. I would deposit the money with the lady and then go to Krishna’s backyard to leave the buffalo. This went on for a year. The young lady had also become rich like her brother. She also gave lot of money to charity.

It was another night and I collected the buffalo from my back yard and walked toward the young lady’s home. She had said that she does not want gold in a shapeless mould as I used to carry earlier. Instead she wanted ornaments. Today it was a gold necklace. When I was nearing the lady’s house, I saw an old man sitting on the wayside. Seeing me walk towards the house with a buffalo he began laughing. And the laugh became loud and loud. I went near him and stared at his face. He asked me whether I recognized him.

I stared hard at him. Yes, it was the same scholar whom I had met at the teacher’s home. He had stopped me at his teacher’s home long time go. Yes, this fellow was the teacher’s disciple. He had become old but his features had not changed much. He was the only one who knew what had been written on their foreheads. I told him that I did indeed recognize him. He stopped his laughter and told me how he had taught the teacher’s children to defy fate. He had told the youth to sell his buffalo every evening and feed himself and the community with the money he obtained. And it was he who had told the young lady that she should demand a high price like lot of gold for her company. Nobody could afford her services and thus Brahma himself had to pay her price and play her lover.

The old scholar told me that I looked worn out. I had to admit to him that these early morning chores, however pleasant, were taking a toll on me. Since he was obviously a very crafty person, I told him to think of some plan to end my worries. The old scholar told me that the easiest way would be to simply grant these people better lives. But he also reminded me that I had told him that some things could not be undone.

It is great when people learn to change destinies fashioned according to earlier births. But, as per the writing on my forehead, I had to keep providing every day a buffalo to Krishna and a kilo of gold to Shubha till the end of their lives.

(Based loosely on a Tamil folk tale in Prof A.K.Ramanujan’s collection)

The Treasure in the Backyard

Sep 3 2007 | Views 601 |

(This is an altered and expanded version of the story – The Rabbi’s Dream ‘ I had posted in February. Many people including a famous novelist of the last decade have probably retold this story )



There was a rabbi (Jewish priest) in the city of Krakow in Poland. He was not old. Neither was he young. And he did his preaching in a small church in the ghettos of Krakow. He did not have much money. It did not bother him except that his grandfather had wanted him to build a synagogue in his village. And building synagogues, even small ones in small villages, meant some amount of money. And our rabbi did not have this money. We have not told you his name yet . It was Issec and he was the son of Jakel. So this was Rabbi Issec son of Jakel .

And then the dreams started. Night after night. The same dream with some small change in detail . Or may be it was the same dream, May be our rabbi remembered it in different ways. On the first night , he, Issec son of Jakel, woke up with a sweat. What is my sin ? Why did the Lord of Abraham and Moses send me this dream ? This evil dream of greediness ! The Rabbi spent more time praying in the synagogue on that day. And then he went to bed. But again the same dream. He again woke up with a sweat.

What was this dream which really bothered our rabbi ? On the first night in the dream he heard a voice . He really did not recognize the voice. It was not his father’s voice . Not even his grandfather’s voice. But it was a stern voice. It was the type of voice kings would use. Or the type of voice God would use. Yes, this was what worried the rabbi. And what did the voice say? The voice ordered him to go the Bohemian city of Prague. Well, the rabbi had never left Krakow. He did not know where exactly was Prague, Only things he had heard of Prague were naughty things. Yes, wicked things! Those Bohemians and their lives of debauchery . And God wanted him to go there ?

Alright. He might not have minded if this is all what God had asked him to do. Now he was not even sure it was the God. May be it was the Devil. Devil also would have a commanding voice. And devil would certainly send people to places of debauchery . God would never put such greed in people’s minds. Yeah, the rabbi convinced himself it was the devil .At least that is what he thought on the first night. The God/Devil asked him to go to Prague and then go to the bridge next to the big castle. Even this was alright with the rabbi. But then it was the serpent in Eve’s ear: Go and get the huge treasure buried next to the bridge ! As we know rabbi Issec did need money for the synagogue in his grandfather’s village. But he did not want treasures. All that was needed was may be 10 coins , may be even 100 coins. That is all . The rabbi did not like this talk about treasures. God of Abraham and Moses would not tempt him like this.

During the next nights thedream became slightly different. It was like an improvisation. This time it was not just a voice. It was a dark figure at a distance. The rabbi could not see the face. Could it be the God ? Would he say ‘ Dear Rabbi, Let me introduce myself. I am God and I have come to give you glad tidings ‘? Our rabbi, even in the dream , did not have the courage to ask this figure whether he was the God or the Devil . Well, the message was the same. Go to Prague, Go to the bridge, Get the treasure ! Dreams came night after night. Sometime it was just a voice, sometime it was a dark figure. Once our rabbi braced himself and mumbled that he did not want that much money. The voice did not bother to answer him back .

Rabbi Issec, son of Jakel, did not have any choice. Either get the same dream every night (of course, with small differences) or go to Prague! He was not getting enough sleep. He would forget his sermons sometimes. This just had to stop. He finally decided to go to Prague. He had not told anybody about the dream. Not even his dear neighbour Benji. But he wanted somebody to keep an eye on his house during his absence. Not that there was anything precious in that old house. All he had was a very old copy of the Talmud and some other books. Rabbi Issec decided to tell neighbor Benji that he would be going to Prague for few days. Benji wanted to know the reason for this trip but Issec did not tell him. Benji assumed that since Issec wanted to experience the sins of the big city before he got old. Issec was too preoccupied and let Benji assume whatever he wanted to assume.

The journey from Krakow to Prague did take a few days and Rabbi Issec arrived in Prague. He really did not want to spend much time in Prague. He was weary of temptations. He just wanted to go to the bridge , dig and get the treasure. He asked here and there and finally reached the famous castle. And indeed there was a bridge near the castle. It was all there as the voice said. But now there was a problem. A sentry was standing near the bridge. The rabbi assumed that he was guarding the bridge. Though he did not know why the bridge had to be guarded. May be some people wanted to blow up the bridge. He thought this is what to be expected with the anarchists in this bohemian land . Whatever the reason was here was the bridge as the God/Devil said but there was also the sentry as the God/Devil had not said. The rabbi did not know what to do. He took a walk for an hour and came back. The river was there, the bridge was there but the sentry also was there. The rabbi went for another walk and this time it took him 2 hours. The sentry was still there. He was not the same sentry, but all the same he was a sentry. There was no way our rabbi could dig for anything with that sentry around.

Our rabbi, Issec, son of Jakel, spent two days in Prague . Out of those 2 days, he spent almost all his time near the bridge. Either looking at the bridge or taking walks for the sentry to disappear. But some sentry or other was always there. And our rabbi also was being watched. When the rabbi came back after another of his walks, he saw another soldier on the bridge. He did not look like a mere soldier. He was bigger, wore better clothes. And the rabbi could even seen many medals on his chest. And before the rabbi could decide as to who this obviously superior office was, he heard being summoned to this august personality’s presence. The rabbi was afraid. May be the august personality would put him in prison. As the rabbi went nearer, he found that there was no reason to be afraid. He was welcomed with a smile. And the man behind the smile said ‘ I am the captain of these guards and they are telling me that you have been coming here for the past two days and just looking at the bridge and going back. What do you want, rabbi ?’ . The rabbi felt at ease but he did not want to tell his reasons to the captain , But the captain insisted and finally even threatened the rabbi that he would put him in prison. Well, the rabbi finally had to tell the captain about his dreams.

The captain started to laugh and seeing it the sentry also started laughing. Seeing both of them laugh, the bystanders also started laughing. Finally, our rabbi, Issec son of Jakel, also started laughing. When the laughter of the captain subsided ,he told the rabbi “ Look ! You are really foolish ! You have spent so much money to come from Krakow to Prague ! And all this because of a dream ! A voice told you that there is treasure below a bridge in Prague and you come running all the way from Krakow ! You walked for five days for this ! ‘ . The captain again started laughing and of course the sentry also had to laugh and the rabbi also had to laugh. The captain again opened his mouth with a guffaw and said to the rabbi” Look ! I also get a dream often ! But I am not a fool to listen to that dream ! Do you know what the voice in my dream says ? It says go to Krakow. Get hold of a rabbi called Issec son of Jakel . This in a town where half the people are called Issec and the other half are called Jakel ! And after locating this rabbi, I am supposed to find his house and dig in his backyard ! Yes, the voice tells me that there is a big treasure in the backyard of that rabbi’s house ! Come on ! Do you think I am stupid to listen to that voice in the dream. I am telling you to go back to Krakow and stick to your sermons !” He again started laughing : Treasure in the rabbi’s backyard !

The rabbi immediately understood the meaning of his own dream. Why did not his dream just tell him to dig in his own backyard ? Would I have listened to the dream if it had just told me that there is a treasure in my backyard? He told himself .that he would have laughed the dream away. No, his dream wanted him to take this journey all the way from Krakow to Prague. It needed somebody else to tell him that there is a treasure in his backyard. He realized that the long journey and the captain were all parts of the plan destiny had for him. He wondered what would happen to the laughing captain. Was he just a sign post in the rabbis’ life? May be the captain will find his own treasure after a similar journey to somewhere !

Rabbi Issec, son of Jakel, thanked the captain and rushed back to Krakow. He began to dig in his backyard. He indeed found the treasure. He took 100 coins from it and built the synagogue in his grandfather’s village. He spent the rest of the money wisely on various projects for the poor. And when he died a ripe old man, the whole town of Krakow mourned Rabbi Issec !